Relationship Manifesto

So, I've been thinking about life lately. I mean I know what life IS... but, "what does it mean to me?" Is the question I keep asking myself? I wonder... if I'm doing everything I possibly can to fulfill all God's asked me to do? The answer regrettably is “no.”

No, I haven’t been executing every moment of my life to fulfill all the plans God has for me like I should. And to you God and the world I apologize. Whole heartily! I feel as if I’ve been going at a turtle’s pace lately! Does anyone else know what I mean?!? Granted it was just a lazy phase I’ve been going through but today is the day it all changes. Today is a new day to start out fresh and confident!

As such I am changing the way I’ve been doing things on my blog. For starters I plan to blog everyday now. That’s right you heard me… DAILY! That is Monday thru Friday at least! So this means more commitment and more posts! I consider my blog my online journal where I will post information about weddings and shoots I’ve done as well as my personal life!

This post will be personal, actually it’s something that’s been on my heart for a while but that I haven’t had the time to sit down and really pray about and write out. As you might have guessed from my heading it’s my Relationship Manifesto.

Last week on a friend of mine’s blog, I discovered an amazing book I want to recommend to all my brides and grooms, and even my single and married friends. It’s called, Project Everlasting If you’ve already heard about it you already know how amazing the book really is. It’s the story of two bachelor guys that traveled around the country interviewing couples who have been married more than 40 years to find out what their secrets are for an everlasting marriage. There are so many cute stories from all the Marriage Masters captured in the book. I fell in love with it and as I continue to wait to meet my husband, being reminded of true love featured in the book is definitely worth the wait.

Consequently several of my friends have written their Relationship Manifesto, which is outlined in the authors bio of their website, www.projecteverlasting.com. After reading these manifestos I was inspired to write my own Relationship Manifesto a few days ago. For those of you that are still single, I pray this inspires you to write your own manifestos to determine what it is you will and will not settle for in a future relationship.


Relationship Manifesto
April 6, 2010

It’s been three years since I’ve dated anyone, and in all honesty I’ve enjoyed taking a break from dating. I’ve used this time alone with God to figure out what I want in life and grow stronger in my relationship with the Lord and further fulfill my purposes in this season of singleness preparing my photography business. As a 26 year old woman, the idea of kissing dating goodbye stumps most people especially when I don’t jump at every offer that comes my way. It’s even more ironic to be in the wedding industry considering I’m not married, let alone really dating anyone. I have always been drawn to other’s love stories. My heart swells with each breath about how they met each other, the little stuff they did that drew their love closer and how they became engaged and decided to spend forever together. True love is not just found in the movies. Every wedding I shot proves that point even more. True love does exist and is worth the wait and I’ve taken with me a piece of each couple’s love story that inspires me to continue to wait for God’s best.

I’ve always known in my heart what I was looking for in my future husband, I’ve written a list but never a vision statement like I am today. I’ve seen so many people settle for convince or average love and I am convinced to go against the grain and wait for something extraordinary. Ok, ok I’ll be honest of course there are days, especially when I shoot weddings, I wish I was married but I am determined to wait!


For my marriage, I envision a husband who is passionately in love with Christ and knows the importance of the role as the spiritual leader of the household and his wife always pushing me into God’s intimacy first and foremost.
I want to wake up early with my husband before the sunrise and read our bibles together over coffee or tea. I envision a marriage where Christ is the head and His love is the foundation for our marriage. Together my husband and I will encourage each other to fulfill our God given purposes together. Through a personal relationship with the Lord my husband and I will share our greatest intimacies together. I want to be able to call my husband during the day excited about a verse I just read and have an open relationship where we can discuss and encourage each other to a deeper walk with God. As his wife I will know the importance of keeping a godly home where it’s filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit. As his helpmate I will strive to always put God first and my husband second. I will serve him with respect, yet be a partner he can draw strength from. When our kids look at us and our love they will know the real love of Christ by looking our example of how we love, live and breathe. God is love and His love will live with in us.


For my marriage, I envision an unlimited creative bond always pushing the boundaries of the artists within us.
My soul thrives on creativity and the arts, and my husband will understand this is a huge part of my heart and actively support my creative vision. He will understand my need for the occasional late night work nights and constant picture taking and will love being in photos with me. He will look at my work and see the love and creative spark from the Holy Spirit and encourage me to push the boundaries further. Being my biggest cheerleader in times I may doubt myself. Whether he works specifically in a creative realm or simply enjoys it my husband and I will use our creative gifts for God. We will both be instruments in carrying out God’s ultimate masterpieces as He works through us to make a difference in the lives around us and the world.


For my marriage, I envision peace.
Where other marriages may lack in communication and truth we will not. Though there may be disagreements the sun will never set on its wrath. We will strive for true love, learning to love as Christ loves us unconditionally. We will have an open relationship enough to express concerns and worries without raising our voices and respecting each other. When life’s troubles present themselves we will look to God first for our answers running to the Word rather than worry, fear or doubt. Trials will not only strengthen our walk with God but also our bond as husband and wife as we seek wisdom from the One who truly gives it. Not only will we look to the Lord for advice in the rainy days but also the sunny ones, when life is perfect because we are constantly looking to the Holy Spirit for advice.


For my marriage, I envision commitment.
When I saw my vows on our wedding day I will mean it with all my heart and love my husband with all my being until death do us part. I love looking at older couples holding hands after all those years of marriage. When I saw, The Wedding Singer growing up I fell in love with the song “I Wanna Grow Old With You” because that’s how I’ve always pictured it… growing old with each other and still being madly in love. My husband and I will still be head over heels for each other as we begin to grow older. For us divorce is not an option. We will be married for better and worse with commitment and self sacrifice on both ends. As I continue to grow in the Lord I trust the Holy Spirit to keep shaping me into the woman of God He desires me to be. Our love will be extraordinary filled with passion and trust because our foundation will be built on the Lord, a solid rock. We will know the importance of the covenant we made before God and not take it lightly as we know we are connecting with each other’s vision, destiny and calling serving God together all the days of our lives.


For my marriage, I envision laughter.

I believe life should be lived out loud! Laughing, music, dancing and signing… OUT LOUD! There’s almost nothing better than laughing until you’re crying and your stomach hurts, seriously! I have always been drawn to men with great sense of humor. I heard a statement one time that I totally agree with when it comes to wanting someone with a sense of humor: “Women want a man who can make them laugh and men want a woman who will laugh a their jokes!” Isn’t that so true though? Although my husband doesn’t have to be a stand-up comedian I know we will have the same sense of humor… always making each other laugh. Pure unrelentless laughter is intoxicating and I envision tat always being in my life.


For my marriage, I envision purity.
One of the greatest paths I’ve been on is the quest for purity. Ever since I said my purity vows when I was 13 I have maintained my virginity waiting until my wedding night to completely be with a man. Though I have not been perfect in the past and have regrets that have dishonored a true purity but I have learned from the past and have made stronger boundaries for the future. I strive first for a purity of heart that will be carried into my actions. I’ve strived to honor God’s command with my promise I made so many years ago and will continue to honor it until the day I say “I Do.” So, I know even before that day he will honor my quest and work with me keeping a pure dating relationship. Call me crazy but I’ve personally longed to see our first kiss be at the altar or on our engagement day :)


For my marriage, I envision passion.

Passion for God, passion for the arts, passion for life, passion for family and passion for each other… and I believe life is the best served with passion. Ever since I was little I heard the story of how my dad and mom came up with my name I’ve known God has a BIG plan for my life… so I’ve never seen my life as average. II Corinthians 6:11-13 is one of my favorite verses in The Message translation of the Bible:
“Dear, dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!”

I love how deep the verse is, “The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way” that is such a big truth! I believe EVERYONE has a BIG calling from God on their lives; it just takes them seeking God out to find it!
For my husband and I, I have always seen our marriage and our lives being filled with passion living out God’s promises in our lives in a big way. No mediocre average life for us!

My husband will have a heart after God’s heart because he will have a real intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. He will be a tither, worshipper and servant of God and will have direction for his life. He will love me deeply and passionately but love Jesus more. We will be passionate about doing the work of the ministry and as his wife I will endeavor be a woman after God’s heart and a helpmate to my husband. I am a very romantic person and I love holding hands, leaving each other notes, sharing chocolate malt together with two straws all the old school romance! Call me old fashion but I love it when the guy makes the first move, or sends me flowers just because… it makes my heart melt… and those are the little things that comes from an overflowing heart and deep seeded relationship enveloped in love and passion. I want that!


For my marriage, I envision a strong love of family and friends.
I believe when you get married you also marry the family and as close as I am with my parents and brother and sister I know my husband would just fit right in. It’s so important to known the family of who you would be marrying into as well. I’m so close to my family and although my husband and I would be starting a family of our own I know he will also enjoy a great friendship with my family, as I hope to have with his also. With our own family I hope to instill old-fashion, Christian values like the importance of sitting down to dinner every night and tucking out kids into bed kissing them goodnight after our family bed time prayers. My husband and I will create a home of love and peace putting out trust in the Lord on how to raise Godly children, with Christ as the head of the home. I love silly family traditions like decorating the Christmas tree or making spaghetti as the first meal in our new home and I know my husband will not only join in on the fun but help create new traditions.


For my husband, I envision a big heart, soft eyes and a great smile.
My friends have all laughed and claimed I had a stereotype for men in the past. But, I’ve learned that although physical features can be important they are not nearly as important as the heart of a man. If I could add a physical feature I would like to see it would have to be facial hair. I’ve always loved seeing a man with facial hair! Additionally, I would also love to marry a man who’s taller than me; I want to be able to look up into my husband’s eyes as he wraps his protective arms around me. Now, I’m not saying physical attraction is not important because it is very important but… nothing tops the cake like the heart (Proverbs 31). Why limit God with a physical attributes checklist, right?! I also want to marry someone who gently motivates me to keep physically fit; as much as I love to work out my schedule more often than not gets in the way. I’ve always dreamed of having a husband who loves to travel as much as I do and loved to go on hikes and see the world together. I want a partner where we can encourage each other to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

I’m waiting to recognize the heart of a guy who totally gets me and the depths of my heart, I know my identity in Christ as God’s daughter and princess and I refuse to date anymore for the sake of dating. I’m waiting for a man who is fulfilling the visions God has given him as I continue to pursue the visions He’s given me and I trust in His perfect timing that as we both strive to fulfill our purpose our paths will cross and in doing so we will join as one to continue the journey together.